True Online Dating Service Sues Darth Vader
(Online Dating Satire Newswire) Online dating service True announced today that it has filed a lawsuit against Darth Vader, an executive of the Galactic Empire, for using the online dating service despite having several convictions to his name. It took True 15 months to realize that the convict was using their service, only learning of such from another user who posts under the username "skywalker".
"The important part here isn't that he escaped our screening for 15 months, but rather that when we discovered him, we disabled his account and filed a lawsuit," said True CEO Herb Vest. "Right now we're unable to know how many people he turned to the Dark Side but Jedi True has once again provided a major blow to the evil-doers of this world. Muah ah ah ah ah."
Contacted for a response, Vader said, "Impressive. Most impressive. But they're not a Jedi yet."
When asked how True, which emphasizes its background checks as a means of safety, missed Vader in its initial screening process, Vest admitted, "our screening process doesn't reach outside of our galaxy." Vest then added, "off the record, it's all about money. If people know that our screening isn't as effect... wait... why are you still writing? This is off the record."
True says it has no plans of suspending its "find the princess here" advertising campaign, which allegedly initially attracted Vader to the service.
Contacted for a comment, Vader simply breathed loudly and heavily through a dark mask, scaring away this reporter.
For its part, True has hired the law firm of "C, 3, and PO."
"The important part here isn't that he escaped our screening for 15 months, but rather that when we discovered him, we disabled his account and filed a lawsuit," said True CEO Herb Vest. "Right now we're unable to know how many people he turned to the Dark Side but Jedi True has once again provided a major blow to the evil-doers of this world. Muah ah ah ah ah."
Contacted for a response, Vader said, "Impressive. Most impressive. But they're not a Jedi yet."
When asked how True, which emphasizes its background checks as a means of safety, missed Vader in its initial screening process, Vest admitted, "our screening process doesn't reach outside of our galaxy." Vest then added, "off the record, it's all about money. If people know that our screening isn't as effect... wait... why are you still writing? This is off the record."
True says it has no plans of suspending its "find the princess here" advertising campaign, which allegedly initially attracted Vader to the service.
Contacted for a comment, Vader simply breathed loudly and heavily through a dark mask, scaring away this reporter.
For its part, True has hired the law firm of "C, 3, and PO."
posted by Joe Tracy @ 4:50 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:18 PM,
Joe Tracy said…
The Truth Behind the Satire:
Online dating service True recently put out a press release virtually bragging that they were prosecuting a convicted sex offender who was caught using their service after another member alerted the service. Seems the sex offender was from California, where True has had to admit that it's screening process doesn't cover due to California laws.
In addition, True has been running a provocative and sleazy ad campaign to attract new members, creating allegations by some that they may be attracting the wrong type of members.
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